Friday, June 25, 2010

The Dark Days of Summer

Feeling intense longing for my children. I know they miss me too, which is the hardest part. Dear spouse has been consistently preventing me from seeing them, though the court ordered 10-hours/week of visits. So far I've had 6-hours and 20-minutes total over two visits, out of 35-hours and 11 visits intended. This is the darkest Summer that I've ever known, full of tears and nightmares trying to teach me something. I try to see through the all consuming sadness, but 10,000 oceans of tears blind me. Friends offer words and hugs I need and love, but the fact remains that I am separated from my wonderful children.

My son turned 7 yesterday, but I could not call him, see him, send him a card, nor send him a message of any kind. That's a world of pain, especially since yesterday was a Thursday, and Thursday is one of my court ordered days to see him and his sister. Father's Day has never been so painful either. I would accept just about anyone as a supervisor, but their mom rejects all suggestions, suggests no one. I love her, wish her peace and happiness, am crushed by the way this is going down. Even as I write this I know that we will rise again, meet again, have happy times. Peace to all the good loving parents separated from their children. Angels in heaven and on earth we need your mercy and love now.

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