Wednesday, April 25, 2007

An Orifice By Any Other Name

In her zeal to convince me to shave my goatee, my venerable spouse took to calling me Crotchface and asking me when I planned to shave "that pubic mass". Gave me an idea, or two. Carol and I agreed though, no matter how I puckered and twisted, my faux coochie lacks the tender mien of vagina veritas. I think you will agree that the strong point would be the clitoral hood. We are still getting laughs out of it, and broaching Berkeley-esque topics such as how it relates to Jung's Man And His Symbols, east-west politics, and gender roles at home & in the workplace, weeks later. If you're a guy not having fun experimenting with different facial hair configurations, you are missing out, big time.


sad me said...

i am sickened, even more, for having viewed this atrocity online... will my mind's eye ever be free from such tyranny?
btw, don't you have more important work objectives than taking photos of your ugliest parts at their ugliest?

Fourth Musketeer said...

Background: mother-in-law oversaw sister-in-law viewing this photo, shrieked, staggered, asked if that was her daughter. Father-in-law came downstairs to check on the commotion, rolled his eyes. Funniest damned story I heard all week. My eyes water as I type from the adulterated hilarity of it. Wife seems to have misplaced her sense of humor. Maybe if I shave it will return.